| 1 Santa wife hit him... | |
Santa wife hit him on the head with the frying pan. Santa: What was that for? Santa Wife: I found a paper in your pocket with the same BASANTI on it. Santa: I bet on a horse last week and BASANTI was the name of my horse. Santa wife: Oho Sorry Next day she hit him with the frying pan again. Santa: now what happened? Santa wife: your horse is on the phone. | |
| 2 Santa knows the answer | |
| Teacher: Which animal flies in the air, but gives birth to young ones on land? Santa (excited for the first time because he knows the answer) Santa: AIRHOSTESS!!!! | |
| 3 Santa and Sadhu... | |
Banta ek ! sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta? | |
| 4 Santa and Birla cement | |
Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye? Santa: Birla cement. Banta: Kyun? Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai. | |
| 5 Santa and Exide Battery... | |
Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery. The shopkeep! er asked: Exide laga du? Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya? | |
| 6 Santa and Indian Flag... | |
Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next... Ismein aur colour dikhayiye. | |
| 7 Santa and Ghanti... | |
Santa Singh while riding a cycle suddenly hit a girl! The girl shouted: Ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!! Santa: Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se maroon??!!! | |
| 8 Santa's Car Break Failed... | |
Santa: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..? Biwi: Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai. | |
| 9 Santa and Coffee... | |
Santa & his wife buy coffee in a shop. Santa says... Drink quickly...... Wife asks why... Santa says hot coffee Rs.5 and cold coffee Rs.10. | |
| 10 Sanata and question paper is leaked... | |
Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. U know why? Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking... | |
| 11 Banta and Cricet Match... | |
The Teacher asked all the students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except Banta. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!" | |
| 12 Santa and Photocopy... | |
What does Santa do after taking a Photocopy? He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes. | |
| 13 Santa and Population lecture... | |
A Teacher was lecturing on Population Explosion - "In India after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid." Santa stood up and said - "we must find & stop her!". | |
| 14 Sanata as a PhotoGrapher... | |
Photographer Santa was focusing on the dead body's face in a funeral function. Suddenly all the relatives started beating him - why? He said "SMILE PLEASE" | |
| 15 Sanata Solved whats come first... | |
Santa recently found the answer to the most difficult question ever. What came first, the Chicken or the Egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first. | |
| 17 Santa learn English... | |
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense. Santa: The future tense is "You will go to jail". | |
| 18 Santa as Branch Manager... | |
Santa gets ready, wears his tie and coat; goes out, climbs a tree and sits on the branch regularly. Banta asks why he does this. Santa: "I've been promoted as branch manager." | |
| 18 Santa wins Lottery... | |
Santa wins 20 cr from a Rs. 20 lottery ticket. The Dealer gives him 11 cr after deducting taxes. Angry Santa: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!" | |
| 19 Santa writing for his son... | |
Santa was writing something very slowly. Banta asked: "Why are you writing so slowly?" Santa: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast." | |
| 20 Santa and Girls father... | |
Do you drink? Girl’s father asked Santa. Santa says “ first tell me whether it’s a question or invitation?” | |
| 21 Santa and Banta... | |
Banta : What is the similarity between marriage and 11:59 pm? Santa : Dono ke baad 12 bajte hai aur din badal jate hai! | |
| 22 Santa and Exam... | |
Exam me teacher ne nakal karne di aur kaha bahar jake na kehna ki meine nakal karai hai. Santa : Na jee na hum kahenge sir to bahut kamina tha, kutte ne seat se hilne bhi nahi diya! | |
| 23 Santa ki kismat kharab... | |
Santa mango juice ka glaas le kar baitha tha Banta aaya aur fataak se juice pee gaya. Santa – Meri to yaar kismat hi kharab hai. Beta fail ho gaya, biwi dost ke saath bhag gayi, ghar me chori ho gayi, nalke me paani nahi, ghar me light nahi. Aab juice me zehar daal ke peene ko rakha tha aur wo bhi tu pee gaya saale! | |
| 24 Santa and A C... | |
Santa ko rota dekhkar Banta ne pucha kya hua? Santa : Meine 2 ton ka AC kharida, ghar aakar tola to sir 35 kilo ka nikla! | |
| 25 Santa's bibi name Google Kaur... | |
Santa : Tumhari biwi ka kya naam hai? Banta : Google Kaur. Santa : Ye kaisa naam hai? Banta : Yaar mein jaha bhi hota hoon, wo mujhe dhoondh hi leti hai! | |